This month the focus of my happiness project was love and relationships. I have a wonderful marriage, and, though I would like to claim responsibility for our happy home, Jeremy is mostly to thank.
He doesn't have a mean bone in his body. I can honestly say he has never (on purpose) hurt my feelings. (full disclosure: he's not the most perceptive. Once after I spent hours working on a new makeup look, he walked in and said, "Why is there so much black gunk on your eyes?" Tears may have followed -- which didn't help the eyeliner!)
So, while I didn't have huge issues to work on this month, I did want to see what I could do to improve our relationship. Here's a few things that truly helped and that I will continue to practice.
- Fight right: I loved this section of Gretchen's book. Disagreements happened, but I did my best to fight right. I removed words like never (you never do such-and-such) and always (you always forget this-or-that) from my vocabulary. It's easy to get caught up in the heat of the moment, but cruel words are hard to take back.
- Don't be the mom: I hope my own mom laughs at this part. :) We have talked extensively about this topic. I'm not sure if it has to do with marrying young, but I sometimes feel like a mom to Jeremy. Between pleas to visit the dentist and to pick up Risk 2210 from the living room floor, it's easy to loose some of the magic. During February, I worked on remembering that he is an adult and I am his wife, not mother. I still made his dentist appointment, but no reminders or nagging. I'll report back letting you know if he actually goes. ;)
- Set the right tone: This month I realized that I set the tone for our home. This is pretty powerful to realize - my emotions affect the entire household (check out Danielle's post that talks about this same topic). So if I had a hard day at work, instead of moping around all evening, I would take an hour to myself (read, bath, gym). That time of calming helped me to refocus and be enjoyable company for Jeremy.
- Have fun: "It's easy to be heavy; hard to be light." - G. K. Chesterton. Gretchen refers to this quote again and again. With adulthood comes responsibility. Talks of mortgages, jobs, and taxes can swiftly snuff out the flames of romance. This month I had the goal to simply be light. One night I was exhausted and wanted nothing more that to slip under the covers. I was so close to home, but as we drove through our neighborhood, Jer's attention was caught by our local Blockbuster. The sign read, "Closing - ALL MOVIES MUST GO." Before I knew it we were parked, and I was being dragged into the store. I had a choice. I could impatiently wait for him to find the movies or I could enjoy this time together. With this quote in mind, I raced down the aisles with him, laughing and pointing out my favorite childhood movies. I did finally make it to bed, happier for the fun time I spent with him (also, we now own all the episodes of the Super Mario Bros. Super Show! Thanks, Blockbuster).
This is nothing you and I haven't heard before, but I was grateful for these simple reminders this month.
That is all.
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